With all the things that have happened to us over the past few weeks I have really started to struggle with my life. I have been talking about it some with my mom and she has been encouraging me to find the positive things in my life and be grateful for them... so mom, here it goes...

1. I am thankful that I have a husband that challenges me everyday. I will admit that some of these challenges end up becoming struggles, however I need a relationship where I am challenged. So thank you Eric!                     

2. I am thankful for an amazing mother who I know is always there for me and supports me in all my decisions. She has been my rock through all the ups and downs I have had in life.

3. I am thankful for my amazing siblings. My sisters and brother are my best friends and I love that I am able to talk with them (even the one who lives in Australia) on a daily basis if needed... and there are plenty of times that I talk with them daily, even if it is just random stuff.

4. I am thankful for the example my nephew Rykert is for me. Rykert was diagnosed a few years ago with DMD (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy). He has such a positive outlook on life. We have asked him multiple times about being sick... his response is usually something like... "I am not sick, I am happy!" I LOVE that little boy more than anything!

5. I am also thankful for the rest of my nephews (Asher, Tavin and Ladd) and my niece (Lilly) and for the joy that they bring into my life. I have not been able to have kids yet but I have loved the opportunity I have had to be in their lives and to watch them grow up.

6. I am thankful for the Dunton family and for the love and acceptance I have felt from them since Eric and I got married almost 4 years ago. Eric and I rushed into everything and I was not able to meet his family until we had been married for about 5 1/2 months and moved to Maine however from the moment I met them I felt accepted.

7. I am extremely grateful for my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am thankful for the principles I was taught from a very young age and for the morals it has given me. I may have been struggling with getting myself to church over the last little while due to some personal reasons but I still have a strong testimony.

8. I am thankful for the opportunity I had to go through the temple on my 25th birthday and for the blessings I have received since then. I love the fact that the temple brings families together and I know that I will be with mine forever and that gives me comfort, especially during this time of grief. It also gives me great joy to know that I will see my dad again one day. Hopefully this year will be the year that Eric and I will go through the temple and get sealed.

9. I am grateful for my 2 girls Bostyn Tea and Salem. I can't picture my life without these two. I love waking up in the morning to get "Mamma Morning Kisses" from them. They keep me on my toes and show me such love and devotion on a daily basis. I am also thankful for the time I was able to spend loving my Ate' Baby Boy and my Linxy Binxy Baby Boy Boo (Phalanx). Even though it was such a short time (about 12-13 weeks) they made a huge impression on me and will not be forgotten. I am also thankful for the time we spent with Love Bug. She was so loving and will be missed.

10. I am thankful that we have a roof over our head, even though the place that we are living in has all kinds of issues.

11. I am thankful for the help that we have received on numerous occasions from Eric's grandma and his mom.

12. I am thankful for the opportunity I currently have to be pursuing my passion in History. I am loving being back in school and taking classes that have me completely fascinated. I feel like I am learning all kinds of new things daily from these classes.

I am sure I could come up with a bunch more things... but I figure this is a decent start....

Sometimes Life is Not Fair!

Over the past two weeks I have definitely figured out that sometimes life is not fair.

We had decided that we were going to plan our holidays a little different this year. Ammon's older kids were going to be coming up from Arizona on the 27th and spending the rest of the Christmas break up north with him. We figured we might as well go up on the 27th and stay with them.

So we left our place on the 27th and ended up bringing Lilly and two of the puppies went with us since their new homes were up there. For the most part the vacation was pretty good. I LOVED spending time with my family, however while we were up there sickness started going around. Thankfully it didn't hit us.

We were hit up with taking the kids home and figured why not. Our plan was to leave on the 2nd and drive to our place and then leave on the 3rd to take them the rest of the way home. We got home on the 2nd and everything was looking alright for the most part. We were having an issue with our hot water working but figured maybe it would take a little time. We woke up on the 3rd and discovered our yard to be covered in ice thanks to the water pipe bursting overnight. We called the maintenance man and he came over and shut our water off completely since he was going out of town for the weekend. We figured that it wasn't that big of a deal since we were leaving for the weekend anyway to take the kids home.

We loaded up our friend Jimmy's truck and noticed that one of his tires was having issues and ended up not being able to leave when we wanted to. I have never heard the kids tantrum like they did. They just wanted their mom and to go home. I started to get really frustrated as well because I was starting to feel sick and I really didn't need them screaming in the back of the truck. We finally got them to calm down and fall asleep for the night.

The next morning we started our journey and brought along our remaining puppies and Jimmy's puppy as well. It was the LONGEST day of my life. I sat inbetween the two kids and had Lilly yelling in my ear (which seemed to be going in and out of being clogged up) at Eric and Eric going back at her. We finally arrived in the Phoenix area later that night.

We got up the next morning and spent a majority of the day exploring the Wickenburg/Congress area, which is where Eric really wants us to move to. I will admit that it was a very nice area and I LOVED how warm it was. We finally got back home around 1:00 on Tuesday morning and found out that the maintenance man had yet to come over to fix our pipes.

Fast forward a few days and he finally gets the pipe fixed! Hallelujah! I can finally take a shower at home and hopefully get over this horrible flu/bronchitis crap I have gotten. The maintenance man leaves and I go to turn the water on in the shower to find out that the water is coming out of the shower head. What in the world is going on with this place???? Eric ended up having to fix things because we were tired of waiting for the maintenance man to come back... Now we also have a toilet that isn't working right, our sink in our bathroom now leaks and somehow the pipe for our kitchen sink is clogged.... The joys of living here!

On Wednesday (the 7th) we started to notice that our puppy Ate' wasn't feeling good. He started to throw up and was having issues with diarrhea. We called the vet and explained what was going on and were given some ideas to try. By Saturday things weren't getting any better and his diarrhea had started to turn bloody looking. We started to freak out about it all but our vet was gone for the weekend. On Sunday afternoon we were finally able to find a vet who was "on call" and he suggested we try giving him some Pepto to see if that helped his stomach. Unfortunately he was worse than we thought and at 6:30 pm on January 11th Ate' took his last breath and passed away. Eric and I were both devastated; not to mention Salem watching her baby pass away. However the other 2 puppies seemed to be doing fine so we were thankful for that.

We woke up Tuesday morning to Love Bug (the puppy we were trying to find a home for) throwing up like crazy. We hoped it was a fluke and had nothing to do with whatever had killed Ate'. She started to get a little better so we were hopeful that it was just something she ate. Wednesday night it started all over again and was getting worse and worse. We made an appointment with the local Animal Hospital on Thursday morning and took both Love Bug and Phalanx there. We got Love Bug tested and she tested positive to Parvo. We were heartbroken, however, it was nice to know what had happened to Ate'. We decided to leave both puppies at the hospital overnight so that they could get their iv's up and running. We went back on Friday afternoon at about 3 pm to pick them up. The vet pulled us aside and let us know that the female (Love Bug) didn't make it and had just passed away within the last 30 minutes. We were able to bring my baby boy Phalanx home with his iv and had to play the waiting game, hoping his body would be able to fight off the horrible Parvo. I figured he had a decent chance at beating this since he had just barely started to show any symptoms. Unfortunately at around 1:35 Saturday morning he went into a coma and passed away. It was so heart breaking to lose our puppies in such a short period of time (Sunday night thru Saturday morning) however the list goes on....

A neighbor of ours who had one of Salem's puppies ended up losing his girl on Saturday afternoon to Parvo. Our friend Jimmy also ended up losing his boy to Parvo this morning. We have ended up losing 5 of the 10 puppies that Salem had all within a weeks time.

I am so grateful for the love and support we have felt during this really hard week we have just had. These puppies have become just like our own children. I am so thankful that my dad was there to welcome our little boys to the other side. It gives me great comfort to know that he will be there to watch over them for us!